DISCLAIMER : This post is sensitive in nature that discusses self harm and Suicide. If you are feeling suicidal , feelings of self harm and in the U.S. dial 9-8-8 to speak with someone or 9-1-1. These thoughts are my opinions.
I often think about death, a lot. I think about what my last days on earth will be like. Will I die a natural death in old age or will I take matters in my own hands one.
I was recently reading about some youtuber who states that he has great shame that his parents may not have enough for retirement and that It will not be his job to take care of his parents when they get older.
To Each Their Own
Sadly in American culture we are taught to each their own, but in other cultures like Korea they take joy in caring each other as a way to pay back all the years they took care of their children, I wonder why this concept is so hard to comprehend here in the good ole’ US.
I was thinking of a controversial thought, why don’t people self-sacrifice more in our country, meaning when one gets older or really any age and they become a burden to family and even society that we do not just end life.
I think in today’s world people want to live and I know when seem hard to believe that no everyone wants to die unnaturally but either die of old age or of course there are situations when one dies like cancer, sickness, a car accident, basically a death not by our hands.
The Burden On American Families To Care For Their Elders
In U.S. culture people are made to feel burdens on their family when they get older. I will not say everyone feels this way. I personally remember when I was nineteen caring for my grandfather who had Alzheimer’s at the time. Although it was very difficult caring for him along with my father, I do not regret it because it was a time, I will always remember being able to see a man who had worked hard in his life, completed his race in life, died and went to JESUS.
Not everyone will have that experience, some simply put their family in homes, but for many its not because they do not love them, but love them enough to give them the care they will need. Taking care of an adult is not for the weak of heart. It’s painful, tiring, frustrating and painful to watch over someone you once knew no longer that person.
I truly think more people should self-sacrifice themselves, as a lesson to their loved one about what true sacrifice looks like. As a father myself, I work hard for my wife and daughter, to give them a decent life but at the end of the day when I can no longer do that, I cease to be useful anymore and I am WILL not be an inconvenience to my daughter and wife. I get that when we have a family, we are to love them no matter what, care for them like they care for us, take the good and the bad together like a real family, but sadly it seems real families are rare these days.
I will NOT be a Burden
When my daughter gets of age, has a family of her own and if I am allowed to get older, I would NOT want to be a burden to her and her new family, I refuse. I refuse to be a burden to my wife and Yes I am aware we are married through sickness and health, richer or poorer but as father and husband I am the one needs to keep the family together and when I can no longer do that, what is my purpose, frankly I have none.
I think if more people took it upon themselves to self-sacrifice we might have a better society, a society that may care more when we lose people we fail to care for and appreciate. I know my theory will never materialize as people in general are selfish wanting to live no matter what pain we cause others or ourselves, but it may be worth considering.
I think if more people self-sacrificed people would not have to live lives in poverty, in pain, feeling a burden to those around us. It appears even our own government makes its citizens feel like a burden, since we weigh down the system, take up resources.
Some after reading this may feel I am advocating for Suicide but I am not, my point that often in society people consider their loved ones burdens like parents. I get it maybe you have not had a great childhood, maybe you had terrible parents so this message may not be for you.
If you if you a decent childhood raised by parents who provided for you and did the best they could although you may feel they should have done better which is quite judgmental by the way. Young adults who live at home, who are single without the responsibility of caring for a family does not know what that pressure is. The pressure to hold the finances together, to keep everyone fed, to house everyone, to keep the train going at all times, NOT EASY.
I would self sacrifice myself for my family, if my family was on the verge on homelessness, without food, I would sacrifice myself so they would survive.
Is it a lack of compassion in the U.S. for those who care for us feeling one you reach a certain age you shouldn’t be required to care for your loved ones if need be or are generations today much more self centered , selfish about the wellbeing , if that is the case then those individuals would not care if their family, parents self-sacrificed themselves all in the name of not be a burden to them, making those family members happy that they will not be responsible but for themselves.
I am unsure why that youtuber triggered me in this thought today. I watched briefly but could see the contempt for his parents seeing that HE would never take care of his parents if need be, NOT HIS PROBLEM. Some may say well that’s his opinion he is entitled to his opinion and you are correct, but should think hard about how much value he and others place on their loved ones and what they are will to give to support them in their times of need. If you are one that says TO EACH THEIR OWN, NOT MY PROBLEM, then you should do some soul searching because frankly you may not have one of love and compassion for others. I get its difficult and may not be fiscally possible but still the question is WOULD YOU and if you can how would feel, would it eat at you each day to find a solution or would you simply just move on. Tough questions and answers I know.
Joe Meyers Adventures 