I often feel inundated with information overload, doom strolling as my mind attempts to process the news of the day, the celebrities, the photos, the stories, and periodicals I come across every day.
Media only makes it worse
I should just turn it off, ignore the noise posted online, but my brain, my interest is to always be learning and be in the know, which is not always a good thing. For most, who cares what happens in another state, what happens to celebrities and what happens in the world of politics.
What I have seen this does to me is severely affect my mental health, depresses me as I only see articles on the elections, Biden, Trump, Senators, Republican’s, democrats, Taylor Swift, Cardi B, Kardashians, Being rich, getting rich, Making money and basically how my life means nothing compared to the life of an influencer who make millions living their life around the globe.
Many would say, those images are not real, fake news and then add to that I go to LinkedIn, where I see mass layoffs, people on the brink of ruin, on the brink of homelessness, out of money, can’t feed their families, out of work for long periods of time.
Doom Strolling and I can’t stop
Ultimate doom strolling, why can’t I stopped, as if I am looking for something, looking for something each day to stay positive, motivated with a focus on people like you and me who are just trying to be ok instead of the world telling us how worthless we are as humans. How we will NEVER amount to Taylor Swift and her 1.1 billion dollars, fame and fortune with her perfect life, No I will never live like her.
I will never be an Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos with their unlimited resources. Yes, I get these are all materialistic things, in GODS eyes they have no value. The rich have always existed in a sense even in biblical times as Kind Solamon was the richest person in the world at the time, probably worth more than Elon and Jeff Bezos in his time.
Hate Social Media
I know I sound like an old duddy fuddy, but I HATE social media, I have the fact that everything is at our fingertips at times and I know that sounds crazy, because for most of us we LOVE our devices, keeping constantly connected, but I do not need to be connected to the world, I do not need to know everything, I prefer to live in ignorance. I missed the days when I picked up a newspaper and read the news, limited my view on what happened in my circle and not have to deal with the million of different voices and opinions.
My brain hurts now, but then I have my current environment as I spend my days in the office as I look around and get to work with some incredible people. These people I find to be far more superior than me, smarter, harder working, more intelligent, more successful, no screws up like me as many of co-workers are younger than me and have higher positions, managers and leads making me realizing how much of my life I had professionally wasted and where I could be today if I am not let Depression get in the way of my life.
Why I’m such a screw up
Why have I screwed up my professional life in pursuit of being successful as I have always had good intentions for the companies, I worked with to work hard in hopes of moving up, but NEVER did it happen, NEVER did the employer see my value, but I stupidly hope even today.
I have always had this stupid hope of a brighter days, future where one day I can have peace in my heart and mind, but I do not as I feel a war continues inside of me each day. My mind races to all my failures and regrets in my professional and personal life as I failed as a husband, father, brother, son, as I remind myself each of that.
I am exhausted literally at times, each day when I go to work and try to focus. My mind is going to be the death of me one day as I feel my mind deteriorates further into the depth of despair, where writing gives me some relief into this madness as I expose my thoughts to the world as I live through the imaginary worlds of my books as I escape through my stories and try to live in other realities not my own.
I wish to be understood
I wish others understood me more as many will say to seek help, see a therapist, get on meds, do something. But I have found writing and daily exercise helps, but as I work in the office now 4 days a week and work nights 4 days a week, what time and energy do I have to exercise, where I can go a 4 in the morning or 10 at night, not ideal times, especially when I wake up at 5:20 daily. I am thankful I can go on Friday, Saturday and Sunday giving me some relief.
I need to do better in managing my mind, my stress levels, trying to stay healthy but its not easy as I look at myself and added pounds over last year curtailing my loss of pounds that have creeped back, depressing me further having almost two years of a healthy weight but not I feel like I am spiraling now as I cant help to equate my weight to my self-worth, thinking of myself less worthy.
The world of politics rage me
At times I am filled with rage over the world of politics, rage had the people who this country puts into power, true American Idiots which goes for both Dems and the GOP who spread hate, conspiracies, far fetch ideas to help the people who mostly sit in their ivory towers , many multi-millionaires who have no idea what it means to struggle, you scrimp by for every penny, what do they truly know about the working class, Nada.
Then we have future presidents, who are both ancient and though they still have their facilities, they are losing their facilities quickly with age. One looks always confused and other looks to be the next dictator of America.
One appears to have deplorable policies that will hurt or kill many people if elected and the other seems to want to help people both coming with huge price tags pushing our debts higher as one day we may fall into fiscal insolvency, Bankrupted America, how does that sound, that is where we are headed.
My wheels are spinning now and I need to stop, but thank you for enjoy this short raging ride with me, Have a good day!
Joe Meyers Adventures 