Today marks two years since one of the most eventful and impactful days affected my life, I know it’ seems pretty dramatic, but on February 28th, 2023, I was laid off from Meridianlink. For most being laid off would not be very life changing but for me it was in a way and for many reading this, you may say I need to move on and should have moved on by now and I truly do wish I had by now, but I have a very difficult time letting go. The reason I believe I have such a difficult time in this case, is not because I have never been laid off or fired, I have over my career of course I have an in a way its natural not to be with a company for decades.
I will say that I truly did like my job and although no job is perfect, I like the ability to work from home full time, as it was a fully remote company, which was nice and new to me when I started, having the flexibility, the time do things that I loved during the day like take my daughter to and from school, spend time with my wife, go to the gym in the middle of the day, take a long walk, work on other interests and hobbies. From the sound of it, it may sound like I didn’t work, but I did, as I took client calls, worked on projects with the client and worked with industry professionals I had worked with in an industry I was in close to ten years, I knew the business. This time was very special because my daughter who was in elementary school would love that took her to school and pick her up. It was only a few years before this date that I was let go from a job that I really liked as well.
The Impact on Different Levels
What was so impactful about this loss was the money, as I felt I was really making progress making more money than I had before, supporting the family and feeling like I was on the right track and then boom, it was all taken away. I guess what was also so hard to understand was the manner in which the layoff was done, with an email as there were no meetings, no warning, nothing, just an e-mail on an early Tuesday morning right before a client meeting letting me know I was apart of 9% cut that day. I was hurt in a way that a company who for close to a year and since I got their state time and time again that the company was doing well, profitable and had gone public the prior year, things looked great. Prior to that I was even award a commendation for meeting incredible goals and award $1000 for my hard work.
An Unforgettable Day
On the day of the layoff I remember because it was so early, I felt the need to let my wife know the news and she too was devastated to see me once again go through another layoff, having already had 1 layoff and 1 only discharge since 2018, really couldn’t believe again, immediately losing hope in my future. I get that I am young, I have many years ahead of me in work, but this singular moment shifted my brain in some way, realizing my own insecurity not only in work, but in life. Some may think I am being over dramatic with a job loss, but as I attempted to remain positive, I was quite concerned about the job market at that point as there had been major layoffs from all the major tech companies like google, Twitter , META and others. Mind you my company was not a major tech company but were a tech company nonetheless and I guess I knew deep down we were not immune but it was a another eye opener to working in corporate America.
I will admit, life at Meridianlink was not always perfect, as in January 2022 a new manager was assigned to our group as my manager at the time was Jared, who was incredible to me and then there was Jill. Jill immediately attempted to make changes, which is common, but felt sha came at me like a bull in china shop, immediately criticizing Jared and how he trained me immediately stating I needed to be retrained. I was stripped of most of my projects and workload, going from about ten projects to about two, in a way I felt this was it, as they were going to prepare to get rid of me, although they had no reason to, I had proven my abilities at that point. I was on the bench for about six months it seemed, while Jill took it upon herself to try to retrain me, which was difficult at first, but I listened, followed her advise and did what I had to do and It eventually I got my workload back. During this time, I searched for new employment.
In away this was one of the best times for my physically as I had lost a ton of weight, felt strong and healthy and looked the best I had in years, I was confident at this point in my life and being that I worked from home could schedule my job interviews really whenever I wanted and did. I applied for multiple companies, apply to companies I had applied for in the past and in fact I got I interviews, but do no dice.
There was certainty a shift at this point in my mental health, as I felt like until this point, I was okay, had not had any moments of real depression but I attempted to push forward, take care of the family, be positive. In time Jill let up, left me alone as she had her own workload to focus on and I was able to refocus on my job, getting from January of 2022-Febuary 2023 successfully and to top it off, I had a great yearly review, got a nice little pay bump and even some company stock.
I will say that between 2021 – February 2023 was the best two years where I felt the happiest but then it all came crashing down.
After getting the pink slip, I did get severance, unemployment and some resources to help me get my resume in order, it was the least they could do I guess and financially I was okay at this point.
As I progressed along, this was also the time I had a minor surgery done to correct an issue I had been living with for years, which was completed March 20th, 2023, which would put me temporarily out of commission for a few weeks. I decided at the layoff, I would just try to relax since I hadn’t had any time off and now I was on a permanent vacation. I did begin to get interviews rather quickly remembering I got interviews with Stater Bros, ADP, and others, but those lead nowhere. But then came along two companies that permanently shifted my state of mind. One was a known credit union I was familiar with call America’s Christian Credit Union for project management role and the other was an unknown company at time for a type of analyst role. Little did I know at the time was that the unknown company worked on behalf of Edison, a so to speak dream company, I was very excited. Applying for both and getting both interviews.
Both interviews went well, as I felt incredibly comfortable with the managers I was meeting with, but unfortunately for years I had stuck in my brain of working for Edison and subconsciously already made up my mind, BIG Mistake. As eventually I was offered both roles within days apart and provided more money than I had ever made before.
My brain must had went on overload, short circuiting the thought that I was worth this money, and although it was NOT six figures it was 15% more than I previously made. From there I on out I was on a downward spiral on indecision as I really wanted both positions, but again I really wanted Edison accepting both positions, when I should have turned down on of them on the spot, but I held on to them as I didn’t not truly believe Edison would come through and that is because I would be a contractor for Edison and not an employee big difference, where at the Credit union I would be an employee automatically.
Deep down I should have followed my gut for Edison, but I moved forward with it but not before I burned the bridge to the ground with the credit union as I went back a couple times, declining the position then asking to reconsider, then turning it down, but in the end had Edison for the moment.
Starting with Edison exciting, but then it wasn’t as the manger I would be working on named Blanca did a 180-personality shift on me, showing her true face a of a passive aggressive, micromanaging project manager. Sadly, I felt the moment I walked on the company floor I made the wrong choice, attempting to reach the credit union one last attempt but was advised they withdrew the offer and wished me luck.
This sent me further down as before the time I got these roles, I was not sleeping, I was up at night pacing, worrying, full of anxiety, I was just a total mess. This is where my mental health started to take a dive and hadn’t been the same since. From there and starting with Edison I was only there five weeks before I was ultimately pushed out or forced out by the project manager as she wanted to put me on a PIP plan and I said No, forfeiting my job in the process, only to have to begin my job search once again. Thankfully I did keep one door open which is where I am today as back in April 2023, the company wanted to interview me but I kindly advise them I was employed, a time of good sense and not burning that bridge, which where I have been since September 2023.
I have since then struggled to regain my financial footing, debt has increased in an effort to keep the roof over our heads and food on the table, at the point today where its crashing or more like crushing me as my mental health has deteriorated each week, month and year, which has lead me where I am today, on the brink. I am thankful to be working and still teaching but it since coming here, I had to a 15% pay cut from what I was making before I was laid off, which has only made things worse for myself and family, all still living in the past of regret over the moments I had it all, lost in a blink of an eye. All because of my loss of job in February of 2023. My story is not unusual by any means as I have colleaques and have seen others experience far worse fate than me, but still ultimately its my wife and daughter who suffer in the end along with me, but I am glutton for punishment but why should my family suffer on account of my stupidity.
I will say that this is topic of conversation between me and my wife and he advise is to please let it go, we are in 2025 now and this was two years ago, its not healthy to hold on to it, when I can’t do anything today. I agree I do my best to not live in the past, but I cant help to think where and what I would be doing today, if things had worked out, most likely our financial situation would be much more positive and I would have nothing to complain about today. But the silver lining is that the people I work with each day are incredible, kind, professionals who make work a pleasure each day and that in itself has value, but unfortunately not the kind of the value that puts food on the table.
I pray I will get peace one day and I remember telling myself when I started with my current company, I wouldn’t feel better until I was here for a year. It has been well past a year and I cant shake these feelings, but deep down know the going to another company, getting more money may not change my views, but it could but it could also set me up to be unemployed once again like I did with Meridianlink.
Job Loss, whether being laid off or fire can be a pretty traumatic experience and recovering can be difficult, life changing in positive and negative ways, lucky I was able to recover but many do not. For those who are struggling this is job market, keep your head up, stay positive and know your time will come and those are not empty words, words that will keep you going until that day goes.
God Bless!
Joe Meyers Adventures 