Remembering My Mother, Linda
There are certain people in our lives that make an impact that once gone, you truly never feel the same, for me that person was my mother Linda who passed December 9th, 2015, making this the tenth year without mom.
Growing Up with Mom
Growing up with mom, she was always there, but at the same time, she always seemed to struggle with her health and financially, although if you looked at me as a child I was healthy, portly or fat as mom found a way to care for my sister and I, despite the fact we lived in the house of hell for most my upcoming, which is a common theme you will hear about in the trauma and damage inflicted on me growing up as I was most raised by my mother and grandfather who I refer to as the devil.
We always had a roof over our head and dad was in the picture and still today. I know mom loved me and my sister and would do anything for us like a mother’s love.
Reflections on Motherhood and Sacrifice
It’s strange at this moment, I am thinking of the song “Dear Mama” by Tupac, yet I was never in prison, never slung rocks and I certainly never put money in the mailbox or got my mom a diamond necklace, maybe Tupac was a better son then me as I never felt I did much for her, as I too was struggling just to make it at times, to keep my head above water and mom was always there, even if it meant giving me her last dime.
Bittersweet Milestones and Loss
I feel I did give her a gift in this life, which is her first and only grandchild, my daughter Mikaylah whom she loved and thankful she got to hold, kiss and spend time with her before she passed.
My mother died unexpectedly but in a way I am not surprised as her body was tired as she struggled with a poor liver and would require treatments to drain water from her legs, dying I believe to be Cirrhosis of the liver, but she was not a drinker, I equate her condition to having probably a fatty liver as she struggled with her weight most of her adult life with being overweight and at times obese, but I still loved her and as a child, she was mom, I didn’t look at her weight, I looked at her heart, her love, although she would get frustrated with my sister and I, due to extreme pressure she was under to keep food on the table.
Although living with the Devil in his house, eating his food, using his water, it was all his and he made it known to us that we lived in his house.
This too affected my weight and my mental health as a child and I often ask myself why mom didn’t get out of the verbal abuse, but deep down I understand we needed to always have a roof over our heads.
Support Through Dark Times
Mom was especially there during my darkest years in late teens when I attempted my life, putting the fear of God in her, but she and my sister and father visited me at the outpatient care facility/Mental hospital and then mom took me again.
Bittersweet Milestones and Loss
Mom’s later years especially when we let her know that we were going to have a baby at her favorite restaurant Olive garden, was the same day she broke the news about her own health so it was bitter sweet and then finally the years just sped by and D day came on the exact day myself, wife, daughter and sister were enjoying a day at the Happiest Place on earth.
For some mothers hold no place in their heart because maybe mom was absent, abusive or didn’t care, but my mom loved us. What I am thankful for is she gave her life to Jesus as far I know, having attending church regularly with my wife and I and she would even go by herself, so I am confident I will see her again one day.
This day is always a reminder of how short life is, how time steals from us each day and before you know it, you’re old and hope that in the years passed you have got to enjoy your life, because many don’t. I’ll admit although I love the people in my life, I don’t necessarily always enjoy my life and that is partially due to reliving what I went through in my own childhood and don’t want my daughter to experience that, especially being poor.
Reflections on Life and Legacy
This day helps remind me of the impact it would have on my family if I was no longer here and yes its painful to think back and wish she was here, but I ask myself would I want her in this new world, the increase amount of pain being inflicted on this world on people.
Our society today is not immune to the pain people go through and people in our world have gone through much worse, like the Great Depression, but that doesn’t mean that should experience those horrific events in history, but that it appears where our world is head. No I know my mother is in Heaven, pain free, worry free in the arms of Jesus, what better place to be.
For my life I can still look at videos of her, listen to old recordings of her singling me happy Birthday and keeping her legacy alive and her impact on my life and the people in our lives.
Preserving Her Memory
I love you mom, something I know she knew passing away at 56 years young, sadly passing young like my aunt at 46, my grandmother, material at 55, Paternal aunt at 50 years old, all died too young.
Until we meet again Mom, I love you.
Joe Meyers Adventures 