Education and Learning, Just about Anything, Writing

Fighting with Myself Over New Opportunities (New Job)

Over the course of these two months, I have been under a constant state of turmoil due to losing my job due to a tech layoff. This was certainly a company I had wanted to work for for years. Overall, I had a good experience, learned a lot and met fantastic people but in the end, I was a part of the 9% cut leaving in the cold. At first it was a shock, getting an early morning e-mail that I was one of the positions ELIMINATED. It stung as I looked around at 6 AM, overlooking my sleeping wife and daughter unsure what I was going to do now, scared and unsure of myself with the question, what did I do to deserve this.

The depression of Mass Lay offs

I honestly deep down felt this could happen to me being apart of a tech company, where companies like META, Amazon and Shopify thousands of jobs losses in tech :

Up to this point there has been over 190k tech losses and its heart breaking to see all of the lives affected by greedy corporations who made millions and some billions off talented labor only to cut them. Getting a job is not guaranteed, but what happens to human decency in talking to your employees, understanding they have needs and not being greedy. I understand companies have a responsibility to their shareholders to be profitable, to stay in business.

The fight of Self-Doubt

During this time I have fought myself with self-doubt, self-worth and struggled, but along the way have continued to push forward, interview and even land two great opportunities.

Two great roles offered

Both positions began the interview process back in late March and early April. The first position was with the financial services industry as apart from the credit union. Being in the financial services industry since 2011, I was familiar with applying for a project manager role. I did not get that position but was offered an equally important role on April 18 which I accepted on April 19th.  Prior to that I conducted a 2nd interview a few days prior.  

Surprise, surprise on April 19th, I was offered the 2nd position, a position I feel I had waited for many years now, but unexpectedly came across Interviewing the first time on April 14th and then the 17th.  The second position took me by surprise working for a dream company, but it was disguised because this role was through a consulting firm that works on behalf of Southern California Edison.  

Both companies had a great interview in my opinion, I really felt a connection to both. The credit union for instance was a Christian based credit union and SCE is utilities in electric, a company I have been trying to get into for many years now since 2014.

The credit union was the position I was less concerned about from starting to the background, but the other position kind of left me a nervous wreck as I worked through the consultant firm who had the relationship with SCE. This has been a test of my patience, as soon as they offered me the position, it took a couple weeks to get SCE to approval the position with the manager I interviewed with and then background which took place last week, so two weeks to get to this point with a start date of May 16th and May 17th, Hybrid.

The other position which is full on sight for the first 90 days with a start date of May 8th and here is where the story twists.

Making a final decision on Job Choice

As of Wednesday, of last week I informed the credit union of my intentions not to take the role, but they suddenly started to want to work on my schedule. Nothing taking a “NO” for an answer is when my battle began with questions such as “Was I making the right choice?”, “Maybe I should have chosen the Credit Union,” But This is my dream company SCE, a company that I have strived to get into for years. Can I just walk away now, although the opportunity would be too great.

Seeking advice from those who I trust, all said the same thing, SCE is an opportunity of lifetime, its difficult to get in. I weighed the options, pros and cons, even though the salaries were more than I made at my previous company, the only difference was the benefits and their cost.

One thing I did not want to do is be blinded by my goal of working for a certain company, regretting it later, but I did my research and overall, all I could see it positive comments, good culture, happy employees.

Although I am certain of my choice, its been a challenge trying to decide which path to take. ONLY God knows what will happen with either and I believe GOD gave me options to have a choice, so either path will lead to great things.

During these last two months I have self-reflected A LOT, rechanged my mind and body, gotten much needed rest.  I am ready to go back into the workforce, hopefully for a long time until my next long rest.

My mind has tossed and turned in decision, leading me to this point after numerous rejections from companies I thought I wanted to be apart of but deep down these last two companies are the ones I have a choice to make, but really I made the choice in my heart which was SCE, not I must pray further to ask GOD for his wisdom in my decision. Whatever choice I make I know GOD will be with me.

My Journey to Projects and Project Management

I will say that one of industries is very familiar to me like mentioned having worked banking as member services in the call center, worked in the branch, back office, mortgages, branch supervisor, special projects which led me on the road to working for other companies in projects and working directly with clients.  The other position with Edison obliviously I have never worked in the Utilities industry and the project management they use I am unaccustomed to, which there will be a learning curve.

I am perfectly ok with a learning curve, although many would stick to what they are comfortable with because the position may be simpler even easier, but I have found that I may not grow as much in the role and that when I choose roles, I am very familiar with I tend to get bored easily.

At my previous company I found the position simple at times, although it had its challenges I think after so many years I was familiar with those type of projects, working with those types of clients. I think with the credit union role It would have been very similar to my last position, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but the position is new, as in newly created and no one else had fulfilled that role before I would be the first person reporting directly to the COO of the credit union.

The other company, I have had a passion to work there for many years, going back to when I worked for my credit union, which serviced those customers. Many of those customers I grew to get to know, respect and they appeared happy and had great incomes. Because of this reason I went so far to go to a school to be an electrical lineman in hopes of working for Edison one day.

The school which I attended 8 years ago today Northwest Lineman College in Oroville, California. The school was incredible with great instructors, but I did not finish, I left after 5 weeks being there. It was incredibly challenging physically and classroom study was tough, but I felt I had a better handle on the academic side of things.

Here is a picture of my time there, where I climbed 50-foot poles and learned some very interesting things.

After leaving school, I went home to rebuild as I made sacrifices to go there like quitting my full-time job, part time teaching job and moving the family from our apartment to my father’s home, the same home I grew up with.  

From there, I got my job back at the credit union I just left but part time, got my teaching position back and got a new position with another credit union part time in projects.  Eventually I left my old credit union AGAIN, started full time at the new Credit union and then years later was laid off, which led me to working on projects, continuously leading me to where I am today.

I know I should not have so much trouble choosing, but part of the reason I struggle is that I don’t want to let myself down or the companies that want to hire me. It should be a simple decision to work for the company I have always strived to work for, but deep down I worry that once I get what I want, hopefully its everything I wanted and not the wrong decision.

Up to this point, I feel I have made good career choices, although at times I was left jobless because the last 3 of 4 jobs I have been laid off.

As of now, I should be starting a new position with the credit union Tomorrow, but last week advised them I would not be starting. For the Edison position I have a start of May 16th, which I fully intend on starting.

During this time, I have taken long walks in the park to think, to rationalize my thoughts of choosing he right position, thankful to have these opportunities but afraid of an error. Both positions were in a way unexpected because

I applied for one job, getting a different job and the other job was disguised as something else come to find out it was my dream company. Both options would lead to prosperity, but in different ways, choices, choices.

Wishing me luck on my journey as I prepare for a new career chapter in my life, I am looking forward to it.

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