Author’s Note This piece is part of my ongoing reflections on life, work, and the world around me. I write not only to share, but to process — and to connect with anyone who might feel the same weight.
Opening the Pressure Valve
I’ve been quiet lately — not because life has been calm, but because I’ve been carrying a lot. Summer has been busy, and getting my daughter ready for 8th grade took center stage. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been going through things. Anxiety, depression, and constant worry still spin in the background of my mind.
Writing this is my pressure valve, a way to keep myself from feeling worse.
“Sometimes I’m amazed I survived at all.”
The Good: Creativity, Work, and Purpose
Despite everything, there are good things happening. I’ve been working hard on multiple writing projects:
- A refined second edition of The Forgotten Son, my autobiography
- A second edit of Doll Parts, my psychological thriller
- My mythic book
- Several smaller projects
Most of these won’t hit virtual shelves until 2027 or 2028, but the work is happening.
Professionally, I’m approaching three years as an Employment Tax Senior Implementation Specialist and seven years as a vocational education instructor. These parts of my life feel stable — and I’m grateful for that.
The Hard: Politics, Inequality, and the American Reality
Like many people, I’m exhausted by the political climate and the widening gap between the wealthy and everyone else. Robert Reich calls it “The Ebshittification of America,” and honestly, it fits.
We live under leadership that lies, while billionaires accumulate power and shape the cost of basic necessities — healthcare, education, food, shelter.
We’re told “everything is okay,” but 60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. I’m one of them, despite decades of work and education. It’s hard not to feel like the system is designed for us to fail.
A Moment That Hit Hard
This week, a colleague — Maria — shared that she and her husband (a deputy sheriff) bought their first home for $450k, sold it, and purchased another for $850k. She said it casually, like picking up a carton of milk.
It hit me like a truck.
I immediately thought about my own failures — my inability to buy a home for my family. We live in a two‑bedroom apartment in the Inland Empire. It’s not bad, but it’s not the “forever home” I once promised my family. I know apartments aren’t shameful, but the feeling still lingers.
The Long Road of Struggle
I’ve been through battles:
- Two bankruptcies (2016 and 2025)
- Years of scraping by
- Keeping my family afloat through impossible circumstances
I want to take a vacation — it’s been four years — but I never feel worthy. I tell myself I haven’t accomplished enough to deserve rest, even though people take vacations every day.
That’s the frame of my thinking: undeserving of enjoyment.
The Culture of Comparison
We’re constantly shown wealth, success, dream homes, dream vacations — reminders that others “made it” and we didn’t. I didn’t go to elite schools. I make a good income, but younger people in my field often make more.
It’s hard not to feel like I failed somewhere along the way.
All I want is stability:
- To save money
- To provide for my family
- To take a decent vacation
- To feel okay
I’m not asking for luxury — just basic human necessities.
Work, Loss, and Fear of Change
People say, “If you want more, work for it.” I do work for it — full‑time plus teaching.
But changing jobs is risky. Between 2018 and 2023, I lost three out of five jobs. I don’t want more loss. I want to maintain and rebuild.
The Noise of the World
I avoid news and social media because the constant messaging feels like misdirection. We’re told everything is great while families struggle. We’re told to look here, look there — distraction and deception.
I’m tired. Fed up. Especially with those who celebrate cruelty and division.
Family, Joy, and What Still Matters
There are positives: My sister is expecting her baby boy in November. Her joy brings me joy. I only wish our mother were alive to meet her future grandson.
Life is moving swiftly. The year will be over before we know it.
My Wife’s Daily Battles
One of the hardest things to witness is how my wife is treated at her McDonald’s job — disrespect, discrimination, racism. She often comes home in tears. Younger coworkers mistreat her, and managers don’t intervene.
Corporate America has failed at teaching respect. There’s no accountability. This culture of mistreatment weighs on me every day.
The Provider I Want to Be
My hope has always been to provide enough so my wife could work less and have more time for herself and our daughter. But California is expensive, and even with two jobs, it’s not enough.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have pursued a field like law enforcement — something that might have offered more financial stability. But knowing myself, I doubt I would have been suited for it.
What I’m Learning
I’m learning that stability isn’t a destination — it’s a practice. I’m learning that comparison steals joy. I’m learning that survival itself is a kind of victory. I’m learning that even when life feels heavy, there are still moments of light worth holding onto.
Who I Am, Despite It All
At the end of the day, I have nothing to be ashamed of:
- Implementation specialist
- Professor
- Father
- Husband
- Writer
- Author
- Thinker
- Philosopher
- World‑builder
Yet I still pick myself apart, focusing on flaws and failures.
“I’m still learning how to carry all of this — the pride, the fear, the responsibility, the hope.”
I’m here, still working, still writing, still trying. And maybe that’s enough for today.
Joe Meyers Adventures 