Father’s Day! A day that many out there surprisingly hate due to the nature of their relationship with their father or lack thereof.
I often think of my own father who is still alive today whose name is Moses. A man I love and he has been present in my life but not really present. He as man has never changed, actually I think he has gotten worse. For most of his life he lived in the same family home which was sold a few years ago. He grew up in Los Angeles with his Mother Isabel, Father Moses Sr., Sisters Elizabeth and Rachel (Deceased).
I grew up in my father’s and grandfathers’ family home, a piece of me was left there when we moved and the house was sold. I hated that house; it was filled with an evil spirit that almost took my life back in 2007.
Here is that house:
Over the years I have thought about other fatherly figures who have only damaged me like my other grandfather named Raul, who I refer to as the Devil. A man who for most of my life spread hate and anger towards me, my sister and mother. A man who I was raised with since the age of five after my parents divorced and my mother felt the need to go search for her long-lost father who had abandoned her in her life. I never fully understood why women especially go looking for their piece of shit fathers who either abuse and abandon them in life.
I have said since I became a father NEVER to become them, those father figures have failed me. I know this may seem harsh. As a Christian man we are to love and honor our fathers. I do love my father despite his many flaws.
The true representation of a father was my grandfather Moses Sr. Although I am sure he had his demons like any man, but he always showed love towards my sister and I. He was so giving whenever we would spend time together.
Since becoming a father on January 2013, a truly life changing event. Over the years I have grown into fatherhood, but I know when I first became a father it was challenging, new, scary but also beautiful at the same time holding my daughter Mikaylah and seeing the complete love in her eyes for me , even today with the same look of love.
Fatherhood is the biggest gift in my life, next to being a husband. My daughter who is a splitting image of me and a copy of me.
I dream of days I can continue to be a better father, but I know I will fail at times. As my daughter is now nine years old and seeing her grow up each day knowing one day I will wake up and shell be eighteen.
This Father’s Day I am not the man was when she was born, I am not even the same man from last Father’s Day. Each day I grow into my role and responsibility as a father being an example for her. I look at some many good fathers today and honestly, I know there are better fathers out there who have better jobs, make more money, and provide more for their families.
I try not be so hard on myself as a provider, father and husband but apart of me will never see myself as special.
My daughter Mikylah who professes her Love to me each day is something so special and I know that truly am loved by her and my wife each day, I am blessed.
Wishing all of those fathers out there who take the time to spend time with your children, to be in their lives, then you are a good dad! Wishing all a great fun filled day filled with Love.