2023 is upon us, for some it already has happened. Thinking for 2022, I am reminded of how this year started for me. January 4th, 2022 I contracted COVID after spending time as a family at an amusement park Knotts Berry Farm. Going against my better judgement, tired of living in fear , stuck inside like most but unfortunately paid the price. From a personal perspective I was affected physically , in bed for days having just come back from a two week vacation. COVID changed me for some reason, I a stricken with covid brain, unable to think at times, not feel quite myself but then something changed in me, like a veil was lifted from my mind and eyes, I could see.
For most of life I lived in fear, doubt, nervousness, low self-esteem, questioning myself at every turn, but for some reason I feel different. Suddenly I stopped, but not completely. Self-doubt will always be apart of me, it always has. Always looking to please people in my life, especially my co-workers, my managers and bosses.
A new change also took place in my job, a new manager and boss by the name of Jill. Replacing my manager at the time Jarod. Jerod a kind soul, someone who I really enjoyed working with, so had been my manager since my start in July 2020. Jerod taking an internal position and replaced by Jill, a women I have never worked with before. Change was difficult for me, deep down I was scared not of her but that she would not understand me, that I would lose the type of relationship I had with my old manager and I was right. She is not like my old manager, but in all not bad just different. Jerod would regularly try to uplift me , say kind things to me. Jill has been strict with me, but in all I feel it has been to retrain me, make me better in a way and I believe she has.
I believe and hope I will have a better working relationship with Jill, but deep down I am not concerned. Previously in 2019 I was fired from a position, which I Believe was due to my current manager at the time not really valuing me as a employee. I will never forget that feeling and that day October 13, 2019, a day my livelihood changed. As one gets older, one starts to fear those times, especially when you have a family to support, rent, bills, and so forth. But that is in the past and each year I work to keep those things in the past, a reminder yes but in the past as a learning lesson.
This year has been good as I have been able to feed my family, be healthy. I look forward to next year hopefully be more financially prosperous.
Truthfully we do not know what the year will bring, most of us hope for best to live in peace, have a financial means to support ourselves and family , to be healthy and meet our goals. But sadly some and even many may not experience that. Some will go imaginable hardships, some may not be here next here as death will come knocking and every which way. We must endure, attempt to be positive in adversity.
This hope I pray that I do not let those things in our country change me, as our country continues to be divided by anger and hate, but all honestly I am not that surprised for GOD fore told these days would come. Its painful to watch as people rip each other to shreds, break down ones fellow man and women and even child.
Our country and world I see it is under a illusion of distraction as people focus their attention on those with power, celebrity and money taking their attention off what is important.
Next year my hope is to finally publish my first work, even if it means publishing myself. Career wise I would also like start my own independent consulting company which would allow me to take on separate projects, but of course fully intending on continuing to work and teach in the new year.
As a person , as a father , as husband and man I hope to grow personally by continuing to learn, grow and be a better version of myself then today.
I hope to continue my health journey maintain my weight, become stronger although since last year I have gain weight most of it muscle, but would like to trim down again next year.
I look forward to hopefully getting a better handle on my mental health, as although I am ok , I find myself thinking dark thoughts at times, specially thinking about my future death. I think of my wife and daughter, their successes, making them stronger in the new year, but encouraging them, loving them and appreciating them more.
Whatever the new year my bring for each of you, know that you are not alone, you are valued and loved even if you feel you are not especially by those people who are supposed like family and friends and even our employer. Don’t allow those relationship to define you, in a way live boldly without fear and you shall see your truly potential. Never any person set your value, never allow society to tell you what your worth is.
The new year is fresh beginning, although our problems, issues in life tend to carry over in the new year, but I don’t have to let those concerns bring us down, just know that you have a choice for a fresh start to start a new job, save money, begin new relationships and even treat those in our life kinder for a change.
Whatever you make, make it a good one and may you have a prosperous and blessed new year.