Watching Someone You Love Be Mistreated
The Weight I Carry Every Day
There is something that eats at me every single day — something that has worn me down psychologically and emotionally over the years. To some people it might seem small, something they’d shrug off. But it isn’t small. Not to me. And I know others live through the same thing.
My wife and I both work. I work a full‑time job and a part‑time job teaching college courses at night. My wife has worked for the Golden Arches since 2018 — a job I encouraged her to take after a short stint at El Pollo Loco. She had spent years caring for our daughter full‑time and wanted to re‑enter the workforce. I supported her completely. She wanted to contribute, and I admired that.
Her First Steps Back Into the Workforce
Before fast food, my wife spent most of her career in the travel industry — an industry that has all but collapsed in America. So stepping into El Pollo Loco was a leap into the unknown. I just wanted her to gain new skills, meet people, and earn her own money.
Almost immediately, I saw something I didn’t expect: she was treated differently.
My wife is Salvadorian. She has an accent, though she is fully fluent in English. Yet she was met with disdain, disrespect, and unprofessionalism — in a country that claims to value its workers. She learned the job, worked hard, and pushed through. But the toxicity became unbearable, and she left. I supported her completely.
A New Start — Or So We Hoped
In 2018, life felt good. Our daughter was five, about to start kindergarten. We had moved back to the Inland Empire. I had a new job, was teaching, and we were financially stable. It felt like a fresh chapter.
So when she left El Pollo Loco, I encouraged her to keep trying. I helped her apply to our local McDonald’s — where she still works today.
And over time, the same pattern emerged.
She has been told not to speak. Told to keep her voice down. Told not to address younger employees because they might quit. She has faced racism and discrimination she never expected — especially not in a company that markets itself as “America’s pride.”
She has lived in this country since the early 2000s and has mostly been treated with respect. But apparently not in the fast‑food industry.
The Reality of the American Workplace
I’ve always tried to explain to her what the workforce should look like — coworkers respecting each other, managers leading with fairness. But even I, born and raised here, have been mistreated and discriminated against. It’s nothing new in America.
Still, for my wife — who grew up in a very different culture — the cruelty hits differently.
People will always be people. There will always be disrespectful coworkers. But in a company that prides itself on treating employees well, the reality is far off base.
And this treatment?
It angers me. It depresses me. It creates an anxiety I can’t shake. Because I feel responsible for encouraging her to take this path.
“Why Doesn’t She Just Leave?”
People ask this. It’s not that simple.
She has tried.
A few years ago, she worked at a hotel as a kitchen/café clerk. The hours were perfect — 5 a.m. to noon. But the woman supervising her, Alejandra, another Latina, constantly belittled her, made snide comments, and made her feel unwelcome. It was clear she didn’t want my wife there. She wanted to be queen of the castle. Eventually, my wife left.
And still, I’m proud of her. She works harder than I do. She takes on jobs that test her emotionally in ways they never should.
Why is it so hard for someone to simply do their job and be treated with basic respect?
The Toxicity of Today’s Work Culture
McDonald’s is no different. The environment is toxic — especially from people who should know better. Managers. Supervisors. Adults who should lead by example.
Her coworkers, often between 18 and 30, are some of the worst offenders.
Where have we gone as a society that basic decency feels rare? Why is respect so hard to give?
It breaks my heart.
I want her to quit. I want her to walk away. But with the cost of living, she can’t — not yet. So I work harder, hoping to eventually give her that freedom.
The Pain I Carry for Her
My wife is strong, but she is human. She has cried in the lunchroom more times than I can count. And every time she tells me, it breaks something inside me.
I feel her pain. Her stress. Her exhaustion.
She works graveyard shifts — 8 p.m. to 4 a.m., or 4 p.m. to midnight. She is tired. She is drained. So I take our daughter to school and pick her up so my wife can sleep. I refuse to let her health deteriorate. I will carry the burden for our family. I will carry the stress and the depression so she doesn’t have to.
She is the strongest person I know. She fights back. She refuses to let people mistreat her. Meanwhile, I hold everything in — pushing myself closer to the edge.
And still, I feel responsible.
A Message to Those Who Contribute to Toxic Workplaces
If you work in fast food, retail, or any industry where people are struggling just to get through the day — stop projecting your negativity onto others. Stop using coworkers as punching bags for your own frustrations.
There are good people out there just trying to survive.
The bigger problem is the companies themselves — corporations that call you “family” while treating you as disposable. Cliques form. Favoritism grows. And people like my wife walk through a snake pit every day.
That fear doesn’t stay at work. It follows people home. It affects their families. Their mental health. Their sense of worth.
To Those Who Are Suffering: I See You
Our country is sick. We have normalized mistreatment. We have normalized cruelty. And people like my wife — and so many others — pay the price.
If you are going through this, you are not alone. You are not invisible. I see you.
Because I see the woman I love walk through this pain every single day.
Joe Meyers Adventures 